Wacky Fairy Tale Group
by Murakumo
Summary: The Wacky Fairy Tale Group, retells fairy tales, in their own wacky way.. everything doesn't go to well when they retell the "Three Pigs" and get "The Giant Piece of Cheese and How the Chicken Crossed the Road


Giant Piece of Cheese and How the Chicken Crossed the Road  
  
Author's Note: The Giant Piece of cheese did exist at one play, we once did, and yes it was almost as bad as this, except i wrote this at 3 in the morning..  
  
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Daisy: Hi! I'm Daisy! *Dances with self*  
  
Alice: I'm Alice! *Does a kick-flip*  
  
Sandy: Me, I'm Sandy! Welcome!  
  
Brad: I'm Brad.. Nice to meet you all.  
  
Rick: *jumps from out of no where on rope* Yahoo! I'm Rick!  
  
Andrew: *looks up through the tops of glasses* I'm Andrew!  
  
All: We are the Story-Telling group. We act out fairy-tales and change a few of the plots, if they have any! We hope you enjoy our company as much as we enjoy you as an audience!  
  
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Sandy: I want to!  
  
Brad: You can't!  
  
Sandy: But how come?  
  
Brad: Cause I want to be him.  
  
Alice: What are you arguing about?  
  
Brad & Sandy: We both want to play the big bad wolf for today's fairy tale.  
  
Andrew: Ah, but then who's narrorating?  
  
Daisy: I get to! YAY! This should be fun. Hm.. The Three Pigs one of my favorite tales.  
  
Rick: Sounds like fun. So who's going to play whom?  
  
Andrew: Well I guess Daisy is the narrorator. Who's the three pigs?  
  
Sandy: I want to be one!  
  
Brad: So do I!  
  
Sandy: I want to be Grumpy. He's the cutest.  
  
Brad: I want to the be the chicken one. Cause he's the bad gangster like one.  
  
Alice: I don't think you know the story of the three pigs, do you? Well I guess we'll work with what we have.  
  
Andrew: I'll be the wolf.  
  
Rick: Sounds good. But that leaves out one person.  
  
Alice: Well, I'll be the other pig.  
  
Brad: I don't like the pig costumes, they are all ugly and fat looking.  
  
Rick: Fine i'll be the other pig. Then what will you play?  
  
Daisy: The odd man out?  
  
Sandy: Possibly another pig?  
  
Brad: I'll play the chicken.  
  
Daisy: There's no chicken in this story, oh dear, this can't be good.  
  
Brad: *walks out in chicken costume* I'm ready!  
  
All but Brad: *stare in awe* Oh dear..  
  
Sandy: The show must go on!  
  
Daisy: I better go powder my nose.  
  
Alice: For a narrorating job?  
  
Daisy: I have to be ready for any cute informants.  
  
Rick: Thats twisted.  
  
Brad: Quiet Pig!  
  
Rick: Don't call me that. *Lunges at Brad*  
  
Brad: Save the chicken! *Runs off the set*  
  
Sandy: Where's my pig costume?  
  
Rick: I think I have yours. I don't remember mine coming with a dress.  
  
Andrew: Gggrrrrr.. *comes out wearing pig costume with a mini-skirt*  
  
Alice: Give me back my costume. *Wearing wolf costume*  
  
Andrew: Oops..  
  
*Brad runs across stage with Rick following him*  
  
Daisy: Come back here you stupid chicken.  
  
Sandy: This is going to be a very, very long day...  
  
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**Curtain rises as everyone is in costume for the fairy-tale. The background is a setting of a house and the playing of piano music can be heard in the background. Daisy stands near the front of the stage in an elegant dress. Brad, the chicken, has a giant pair of glasses on the outside of his chicken costume as he stretches off stage**  
  
Daisy: Once upon a time there was a land where all the hills were green, and all the animals were peaceful. This land was...  
  
Andrew: Evil, devilish, and Full of terrible weather and terrible people who..  
  
Sandy: Liked to play with Barney dolls and eat wild radishes.  
  
Daisy: Um.. anyways.. this land was called..  
  
Brad: Chickensville!  
  
Everyone but Brad: WHAT?!  
  
Sandy: I think it should be called Cute Land.  
  
Andrew: What about wolf's palace.  
  
Alice: I got it! Why don't we call it..  
  
Brad: KFC!  
  
Andrew: I like it!  
  
Sandy: Its not bad.  
  
Daisy: Can we get back to the story?  
  
Alice: Continue.  
  
Daisy: Anyways. Where was I, ah that right. In the land of KFC, there lived three pigs. One by the name of..  
  
Alice: *jumps out* Sporty Spice!  
  
Daisy: The second's name was..  
  
Sandy: Baby Spice!  
  
Daisy: And the last one's name was..was.. Hello? Where's our third pig?  
  
Rick: I don't like my costume.  
  
Alice and Sandy: Tough Cookies! *They drag Rick out in his Pig costume which has a short-skirt*  
  
Rick: This is the last time I play the pig.  
  
Daisy: His name was..  
  
Rick: Beef!  
  
Andrew: I like the way it sounds.  
  
Daisy: Anyhow... There were three pigs and..  
  
Brad: A..hem...  
  
Daisy: Oh yea, thats right. There was also a chicken called..  
  
Brad: Ham.  
  
Andrew: Ham?  
  
Alice: Why call a chicken Ham?  
  
Sandy: Why not just be a ham then.  
  
Brad: Its Ham, and that final!  
  
Daisy: Fine its Ham. So, Sporty, Baby, Beef, and Ham, all got together one day at the local..  
  
Andrew: *jumps out from back-stage* Starbucks!  
  
Daisy: Quiet dumb wolf. Your supposed to be off stage dummy.  
  
Andrew: Oh yea thats right! *Tip-toes back off stage*  
  
Daisy: So, Sporty, Baby, Beef, and Ham all met at the local Starbucks to discuss..  
  
*Back-drop falls with seats and coffee on stage*  
  
Alice: Make-up!  
  
Sandy: And Jewerly!  
  
Rick: And costumes!  
  
Brad: AND ABOUT HOW THE CHICKEN PLANNED TO CROSS THE ROAD!  
  
Everyone but Brad: O_O  
  
Alice: Don't do that again.  
  
Brad: Okay.  
  
Daisy: So as the Pigs and Chicken were talking, they came across the thoughts of building houses for themselves. Everyone thought it was a great idea and after drinking their coffee, they all headed out to find what to make their house of. Sporty Spice searched the Farm for something to make her house out of.  
  
*Back-drop falls: Picture of Farm*  
  
Alice: *walks across the stage searching around* I wonder what I should build my house of for its sturdyness and fashionable out-look. I need to sit down and think. *Sits down on hay* Ouch! What the heck, who put hay out here in the.. wait a second. I'll make my house of..  
  
Andrew: CHEESE!  
  
Alice: o_o  
  
Daisy: So the first pig built her house out of cheese, until it was finished.  
  
Alice: :( Why do I have to have a house of cheese...  
  
*A giant cheese comes rolling across the stage with Rick holding on for dear life*  
  
Rick: Yee-ha!  
  
*Back-drop changes to the forest*  
  
Daisy: The second pig, Baby Spice, looked for what to build her house out of in the forest.  
  
Sandy: Lalala. What to make my house out of. There's rocks, gravel, and lots of trees, but will anything stand tough. I feel like resting.  
  
Daisy: So Baby, leaned against a tree to rest her body from all her searching.  
  
Sandy: *Lays back on tree* Hmm.. this tree has plenty of sturdyness. I could make my house out of wood.  
  
Daisy: So Baby made her house out of wood..  
  
Brad: Chips!  
  
*Back-drop is changed to a house in the background. Wood chips are blown all over the stage*  
  
Sandy: Why me?  
  
Rick *Andrew slides across the stage on wood chips* Wee!  
  
*Back-drop changes to a trail on a dirt road*  
  
Daisy: I am this close to quiting.. Sigh.. The third pig, Beef searched around the town for what to build his house out of.  
  
Rick: Being the smart pig that I am, I am taking a walk around the town and finding sturdy materials. Hm.. *scratches head* This brick wall appears to be really tough.  
  
Daisy: So Beef arrived at the conclusion as to what to make his house out of.  
  
Rick: I shall make my house out of..  
  
Daisy: Please let it not be a dumb answer..  
  
Rick: Chicken!  
  
Daisy: What? What kind of answer is chicken? Its brick you bozo!  
  
Rick: I want my house made out of chicken.  
  
Sandy: I want mine made out of chicken too!  
  
Daisy: Fine! Rick your house can be made up out of chicken.  
  
Alice: Oink!  
  
*Brad runs across the stage*  
  
Brad: MOOooo!  
  
Daisy: Anyways.. Lastly, the chicken, Ham, searched for what to make his house out of..  
  
Brad: And find a way to cross the street and get away from the busy cars..  
  
Andrew: Ggrrr.. Will you shut-up!  
  
Brad: :( fine..  
  
Daisy: So Ham searched for what to make his house out of in carpenters shop.  
  
Brad: Hm.. what should I make my house out of? *Comes out with Green Glasses, and a Red Visor on chicken head* I know! I'll make it out of hair.  
  
Everyone but Brad: O_O  
  
Brad: *Starts making house out of hair* What? Its not like its first time you've seen someone make a house out of hair. Geezzz..  
  
  
  
*Back-drop changes back to a small house in the back. Music changes to stalking type beat*  
  
Andrew: Ggggrrr.. Ah! A nice house to blow down.  
  
Daisy: So the wolf..  
  
Alice: Whom we all called Baby-cakes!  
  
Everyone but Alice: X_X  
  
Daisy: Yea, well Baby-cakes looked for a helpless pig to devour and a house to blow down.  
  
Andrew: Hm.. I smell cheese! Yummy! And its a giant house made out of cheese!  
  
Alice: I won't let you eat my house, which I hate, and is made entirely out of cheese.  
  
Andrew: *already eating most of the house* Yummy! I love it!  
  
Daisy: And Baby-cakes the wolf was about to eat the pig when..  
  
Brad: THE CHICKEN THOUGHT OF AN IDEA OF HOW TO CROSS THE ROAD WITHOUT GETTING HIT AND HE WAITED PATIENTLY AT THE CROSS-WALK TILL THE SIGN SAID WALK AND WHEN I STARTED TO WALK ACROSS THIS CAB DRIVER CUT ME OFF AND FLICKED ME OFF, AND THEN I YELLED AT HIM AND TOLD HIM TO COME TO MY SIDE OF THE STREET AND..  
  
Everyone else: SHUTUP!!  
  
Andrew: I like Cheese!  
  
Daisy: Your supposed to blow down the house, ah well, atleast eat the pig.  
  
Andrew: Fine! Ggggrrr! *Lunges at Alice*  
  
Alice: *storms off stage* O_O stupid wolf.. stupid cheese.  
  
*Giant Piece of cheese rolls across the stage. It hits Sporty*  
  
Alice: X_X  
  
Daisy: Baby was hiding in her house until..  
  
Brad: THE CHICKEN CAME CLOSE TO MAKING IT TO THE OTHER SIDE, BUT THEN GOT BUSY BECAUSE OF ALL THE COFFEE HE DRANK FROM STARBUCKS AND HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND WHEN HE GOT THERE..  
  
Daisy: *faces turns to a dark shade of red* AND COULDN'T DECIDE WEATHER TO GO TO THE LADIES OR MENS ROOM SO HE JUST WENT AND WENT BACK TO HIS HOME WHERE HE STAYED TILL I SAID SO!!!  
  
Brad: Gulp... *runs off stage*  
  
Andrew: I am not eating wood-chips!  
  
Daisy: This is a mess, just eat the stupid pig!  
  
Andrew: *jumps on Sandy* Ggrrrrr  
  
Sandy: YOU SICK WOLF! *Punches Andrew in the jaw*  
  
Andrew: ugh.. x_x  
  
Sandy: Last time I invite a wolf over to my house. *Skips off stage*  
  
Daisy: Thank goodness i'm the narrorator. Ah, Beef, the third pig, hid in his house as the wolf..  
  
Andrew: x_x  
  
Daisy: remained unconcious in the house of the second pig. Wait, what happened to your house?  
  
Rick: *rubs belly* Yum! I love Chicken. KFC is the best land ever. Aw crud, I just ate my house. But it was good!   
  
*Crawls off stage* Too much chicken.. I think i'm going to be sick..  
  
Brad: BUT THEN I GOT AN IDEA, WHY NOT ROW MY WAY ACROSS THE STREET, BUT MY BOAT WOULDN'T FIT IN THE CAR, SO I PAYED THE TAXI DRIVER TO GET ME TO THE OTHER SIDE AND THEN HE DROPPED ME OFF. I REALIZED I WASN'T IN KFC ANYMORE AND I WAS IN L.A. DURING TRAFFIC HOURS. SO I GOT HOME FINALLY AND THEN THE CAB DRIVER TURNED TOWARDS ME AND SHOUTED, "YOU OWE 32, 452 DOLLARS", AND I LAUGHED, AND HE GRABBED A SHOT-GUN AND I RAN.  
  
Daisy: I quit. *Walks off stage stamping feet*  
  
Alice: Stupid cheese. *Rolls across the stage on the piece of cheese. Runs over Andrew*  
  
Andrew: X_X  
  
*The giant piece of cheese rolls behind Brad*  
  
Brad: Help me! **Runs while flapping like a chicken*  
  
Sandy: I know how to end this story! And everyone lived..  
  
Brad: HORRIBLY EVER AFTER CAUSE THIS STUPID PIECE OF CHEESE WON'T STOP FOLLOWING ME!! HELP ME!!! AHHH. STUPID CAB DRIVER!  
  
*Car door slams somewhere*  
  
Cab-Driver: WHERE'S MY MOOLAH!!!! *Runs after The piece of cheese which is chasing Brad*  
  
Alice: Yikes!  
  
Brad: LAST TIME I EVER TRY TO CROSS THE STREET!  
  
Andrew: *gets up and shakes head* Ugh. I'm okay! The wolf survived! Yeah!  
  
*Someone throwing up can be heard off stage*  
  
Rick: Ooohhh.. never eat beans and salsa before eating a house made of chicken..  
  
Sandy: Happily...  
  
Andrew: *Grabs Brad and hurls him across the street* Its your fault! Dumb Chicken!  
  
Brad: YAY! I MADE IT ACROSS THE STREET FINALLY! THE BOZOS FROM ABOVE THOUGHT I COULDN'T DO IT, EVERYONE THOUGHT I COULDN'T DO IT! BUT I PROVED THEM WRONG! I PROVED THEM ALL WRONG!  
  
*Cab-driver shoots gun. It fires, hits a light which begins to fall*  
  
Alice: Help me! *Piece of cheese rolls over back-drops and set begins to collapse*  
  
Sandy: Ever...  
  
Brad: *hit in head with falling light* X_X  
  
Rick: ohhh my stomahce! X_X  
  
Daisy: Last time I narrorate a story with a chicken and three pigs.. *back-drop falls on her* AAH!!!! o_o  
  
Alice: *Rolls across stage still holding onto the cheese* x_x  
  
Andrew: Wolf lives on!   
  
*Curtain crashes down on Andrew*  
  
Andrew: X_X  
  
  
  
Faint voice heard from back of stage: After.... 


End file.
